It had taken 4 dates to get to first base with Trucker Joe, and though I wasn't ready for a home run, I was genuinely looking forward to our first date and the friskiness I was certain would ensue. So when Trucker joe texted on Sunday that he'd come out my way on Monday night (the night we'd made plans to hang out), I was stunned. Since I didn't live alone, we definitely couldn't get it on so like what the fuck was happening.
As it turns out, he was just trying to be polite, and once we'd sidestepped that nonsense, I'd invited myself over to his place for another movie night. I show up to his place on monday night armed with microwave popcorn and red lace panties (not visible obviously).
This time I dressed more casual, cute jeans and a hoodie which he notices and says good with an approving smile before adding You look much more comfortable this time. And like, was that a dig? I decided not to give it a second thought and we sat down to watch Iron Man.
And for the next 126 minutes, we sit there like teenagers, nervous teenagers, who've yet to kiss except that we have kissed and there isn't any handholding nor any touching really--the closest we've come is eating out of the same popcorn bowl, which I eventually put down on the table. And then around 100 minutes of no kissing, I pick the bowl back up and he asks: Want me to make some more?
No thanks I smile but I reserve the right to change my mind later.
He smiles, and says, Don't worry, I was planning to make more for Gran Torino anyways, which I guess is cute enough that he wants to watch two full movies with me but like where is the goddamn kissing and touching and stuff. So yeah, we watch Gran Torino and 116 minutes later there's still no fucking kissing and still no fucking touching and it's just TV playing in the background and we're talking and he turns to me and says...
So I really want to make a move. But. I have something embarassing to tell you.
The following possibilities run through my mind in rapid succession.
1. He's dating another woman, they're becoming exclusive and he can't see me anymore...
2. He has VD...
3. He has ED...
4. He's really just not attracted to me...
5. He's actually still married...
6. He's tired and lame and just wants me to go home already...
So obviously my head is spinning at this point; I'm sure I looked like a deer caught in the headlights coupled with a concerned mother worried about a little kid. So I can't really remember exactly what he said to me., but here's the gist of it.
- his "boys" are killing him
- his friend (read: not a doctor, not even likely someone smart) told him to try these testosterone patches to ya know...amp his manhood up
- he stopped using them a little while back
- he's making a doc appointment to get it checked out
- HE WOULD REALLY LIKE TO MAKE A MOVE
- but he's basically incapacitated in that way right now
Oh Trucker Joe.
*shakes head*
But I mean, what are ya gonna do right? I'm just hoping this is a case of I-want-to-make-my-dick-super-human and not my-dick-doesn't-really-work-that-great ya know? So I stayed for a bit longer, chatted for a bit longer, brought the laughter back, and then being that it was 2am I called it a night. He walked me to my car, hugged me goodbye and waited while I drove away.
And I don't know. I guess his story makes sense but it still feels weird because like there still could've been hand holding couldn't there? Or even making out? Though I guess if you're not in the mood you're not in the mood.
*originally posted 18/08/2010
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